Heat

I am cold, but I don't want to start a fire tonight.

Metaphor of my life.

I am cold, so I'll crank the heater of my 

anger and bitterness because

without it there is no life, 

excuse me, light, in me.

No heat in me.

Starting a proper fire takes effort and I have no

stacks of peaces or even a small kindling of happiness not

even a crumpled newspaper memory of joy.

I am cold and I am a downpour and nothing will light and
believe me

I've tried I

scrape off my tissue paper skin and

watch it curl in on itself, maybe,

hoping it will catch. Nothing.

I am raw from effort, from

trying to light healing and all

I can muster is the 

automated whirrr of my curdling emotions.

It will have to be enough.

I would rather have heat than cold,

a life without light. 

One day,
maybe

my life will be a

ROARING BONFIRE

and I'll be raw

from the scorching beauty

rather than the

scraping to stay

lit.

Bite Hard

"No I'd never resort to kissing your photo, honest. I just had to see how the chemicals taste there, honey." - Franz Ferdinand  

Do you know
how much I look at
that photo of us

kissing?

I wish you never asked

me to take

that picture.

I wish you hadn't

given me

that perfect day.

A taste of what

it could be

to be yours

once again.

Lol

You asked me to change my diction

cause it created friction

but your participation lack

caused our relationship to crack

fuck you, I’ll use lol if I want to